


Another Kind of Cliché

by thescyfychannel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Bondage, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Multi, Spitroasting, Villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-19 06:33:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22773481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/pseuds/thescyfychannel
Summary: TT: Fighting against your better (worser) nature ain't all it's cracked up to be.TG: the villain/hero sex is pretty hot tho!!!TT: True.
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Jake English, John Egbert/Jake English/Dirk Strider
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56
Collections: Polyswap Leap Promptfest - Dusk Edition





	Another Kind of Cliché

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [GloamingMage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GloamingMage/pseuds/GloamingMage) in the [Polyswap_Leap_Promptfest_Dusk_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Polyswap_Leap_Promptfest_Dusk_2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Teen-Explicit. I’ve been vibing with superheroes lately! Let’s have a hero and villain fighting over the hot plucky sidekick. I’m a simple nerd.... I require only hero <3< villain and Jake as a damsel in distress. This could be dark or lighthearted! Hell, it might even be a consensual roleplay between an established throuple. So long as there’s flashy costumes, dramatic banter, and bondage, I’ll be over the moon.
> 
> \--
> 
> ok despite the summary I must apologize, Roxy does not actually show up in this fic...but Roxy Is out there, cheering Dirk on, I swear

Villainy is easy. Quite simple, in fact, based on everything you've studied about villains and everything past that, that you'd learned in the field. Based on your personality. What you know of yourself. Villainy would be easy, would come as naturally to you as breathing.

You've never really liked things easy, though. That's probably why you've been trying so damn hard, for the last five years, to be a real hero.

Are. Fuck. You _are_ a real hero, and you need to remember that, instead of telling yourself it's all a fake dress up game and the "points" don't matter and— _fuck_. Real people, real lives, real things at stake.

Okay. You need to focus.

Tying up a villain, even a villain's sidekick, is no laughing matter.

...

It's _supposed_ to be no laughing matter, but Wild Child seems to have other ideas about the nature of this particular interaction.

"I _say,_ Mr. Heart, sir—that tickles!"

Your head thumps against the padded wall of your top secret sub-secondary's tertiary backup hideout. "This is absolutely not working out." And you're not just saying that because you're far too close to Wild Child for your own comfort, given that you're still in the process of tying him up properly before the numbing agent you'd used on him wears off completely.

"Well, I don't know about that," a familiar voice drawls, right against your ear, with all the smug confidence that has your nerves singing, "because if you were trying to get my attention, you've certainly succeeded!"

You spin around immdiately—

—you _try_ to spin around immediately, get halfway through the mere start of the motion, then Last Breath is slamming you up against the padded wall, your chest thumping into Wild Child's arm and your hips against the padding and your ass— _fuck_ , your ass trapped in place by Last Breath's hips. _Fuck_.

"Let me go," you growl out, because apparently you're choosing today to turn into a heroic cliché.

"Hmmmmm," he says, making a great show of considering your words. You already know the route h's going to go: If you're occasionally a touch too cliché, then Last Breath's an absolute smorgasbord of them, revelling in every villainous trope that comes his way. "Nah! No, I think it's about time I taught you a thing or two about the...perks...of villainy."

He drags you up off the wall by your hair, and you try not to dwell on the fact that he's barely even touching you anymore, your arms bound behind your back by his wind chains, your legs rendered useless by whatever he's done with his powers down there. Actually, no. You're absolutely going to dwell on that, because one quick glance down confirms that you're half hard and very likely to be more so soon. "I'll give you the antidote for what I used on Wild Child." Fuck. Now you're bartering.

"Wild Child needs to learn a lesson too," Last Breath says, and the steel in his tone leaves you even more breathless than getting shoved face first into Wild Child's rather excellent chest does. "So he'll be staying right where he is for the duration of this lesson."

"Aww," Wild Child says, and the genuine disappointment in his voice does funny things to your gut. "I wanted to play with him too!"

"You'll have your fun." This seems to be enough assurance for the sidekick, because he immediately turns his attention to nuzzling your hair. "Now then. I'm not gonna offer you 'the easy way' or 'the hard way', because we all know you prefer the hard way—why else would you be a hero, right? Being a villain is in your bones, your blood, yadda yadda yadda—really, though, you could be _good_ at this. It sucks that you're wasting your talents elsewhere!"

So what if you're trembling between the two of them? So what if you're hard against Wild Child's leg? So what if the affectionate nuzzling is really getting to you? You're totally fine. You're doing great, in fact. "I'm a hero," you say, and god fucking dammit you are dying.

"For now," Last Breath murmurs, and both of his hands fist in your suit, right over your ass, and _yank_.

One long summer's day, you'd spent about two hours sleeping and the other twenty-two studying up on Last Breath's abilities. His powers were backed by the wind and seemingly limitless, and you were left breathless (haha, fuck) wondering at what it must be like to control them. How difficult it must be to shape the blade of the wind simply to cut what he desired instead of leaving those foolish enough to go up against it slashed to ribbons.

Your suit tears easily in his hands, and you feel the chill winds rushing over your skin as he leaves you bare for him. "This is a necessary lesson," he tells you, hauling you backwards enough that you end up face to face with Wild Child's crotch. He's hard, too, but you'd already known that, the heat of him against you too much to bear, even through your suit. "You've been fighting your better instincts for too damn long, and someone needs to teach you this."

"Oh, and that someone just _happens_ to be you, huh?"

He jerks you back against him, and you cry out, the movement tightening your suit up over your aching dick. "Yup! Although really, it could've been any of us—it's not like you're _subtle_ about how hard you get over villains. Really, _Dirk_ , it was only a matter of time!"

His words make your blood run ice cold, and your head whips around, eyes wide and panicked—and you see a glimpse of his gleeful expression before he shoves you back into place. "How—"

"Save the trite shit for later, okay? We've got way more interesting things to do right now."

"Never fear!" Wild Child's trying to reassure you, bumping his thigh up against your cheek in a bizarrely friendly sort of way. "John's not the type of fellow to sell out a man's secrets, and he prefers to leave the secret identities where they belong—at home!"

 _John_. You cling to that name ( _he leaves them at home_ , the back of your mind whispers, _if the sidekick's not lying, that makes him a far better man than you_ ), already making plans to research everything you can about him.

" _Jake_ ," Last Breath says, and it's an exhausted, exasperated sort of sigh. "Seriously, dude? Come on."

Two names. Two names, as long as you can make it out of this relatively unscathed, you have a chance to do some real good for the world, a chance to put these two away forever—

And then your train of thought is completely derailed by the hard cock rubbing against the crack of your ass. "Oh," you say, " _fuck_." Eloquence, thy name is Strider.

A gust of wind somehow undoes a clever part of Wild Child's— _Jake's_ —suit, and there's an equally beautiful (fuck, wrong adjective, _villainous_ , villainous is the word you should be using even if it makes your body twinge with arousal) dick pressed up against your face.

Look. Look. It's maybe a little second nature for you to suck some fine-ass dick.

It's not like Jake's _complaining_.

"Oh ho," John says, and oh god, oh _god_ , you are so absolutely fucking _fucked_ , "this is going to be so much easier than I thought!"

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like every time I write something for a promptfest I'm like....teasing a much larger universe  
> because I, apparently, am an asshole
> 
> if you're interested in more of this 'verse, though, we can talk about it on my tumblr
> 
> other notes:  
> Take Heart (Dirk) - technically a hero. he's much more inclined to villainy but Trying To Be Good   
> Last Breath (John) - a villain! who flirts with take heart A Lot. he's great at seeing hero boners like a mile away   
> Wild Child (Jake) - last breath's sidekick, tends to get kidnapped, like...a lot. not just by heroes. not just by villains! pretty much every super with a scrap of Decency in the city has saved him at least once.


End file.
